Corky Romano

Oh God, no, no, NO-O-O-O!! It’s another rotten movie with a “star” from Saturday Night Live! Run for your lives! Save yourselves! (SLAP!) Whew! Thanks, I needed that. Well, ahem, where was I? Oh yeah. An assistant veterinarian (Chris Kattan—rhymes with “Bataan,” as in “Death March”) is called on to go under cover as an FBI agent to steal the Bureau’s evidence against his gangster father (Peter Falk). Along the way we get animal-cruelty jokes, fart jokes, repressed-homosexual jokes, illiteracy jokes, accidentally-sniffing-a-kilo-of-cocaine-then-addressing-a-group-of-first-graders jokes, and through it all the relentlessly untalented Kattan flailing, shrieking and flashing his pop-eyed, teeth-gritting smile. The miserable script is credited to David Garrett and Jason Ward, the direction to Rob Pritts.