Chips off the old block

Could Ross Bagdasarian have imagined what he was setting loose back in 1958? Recording for Liberty Records under the name of David Seville, Bagdasarian dabbled in the comical effect of speeding up his voice for a couple of novelty records. “Witch Doctor” made it to No. 1 in the summer of ’58, while “The Bird on My Head” barely squeaked into the top 40. Then, that autumn, paydirt: He wrote, produced and did all the voices for “The Chipmunk Song (Christmas Don’t Be Late).” The holiday ditty was a smasheroo and even snagged Bagdasarian a couple of Grammys. Alvin, Theodore and Simon—named for three of Bagdasarian’s bosses at Liberty—were on their way.

Alvin emerged immediately as the star of the trio, a sort of rodent Dennis the Menace, whose antics drove handler Seville crazy. The personalities of the other two—Simon, the smart one; Theodore, the dumb one—didn’t emerge until the animated series The Alvin Show came to TV in 1961. After that, Bagdasarian had a reliable meal ticket for the rest of his life, which ended untimely in 1972 when he dropped dead of a heart attack at 52.

Since then, the Chipmunks torch has been carried by his son Ross Bagdasarian Jr., with more albums, a fresh TV series, and a female trio, the Chipettes, created with his wife Janice Karman.

And finally, a franchise of live-action movies with the kind of sophisticated CGI that Bagdasarian Sr. could scarcely have imagined when he was twiddling the speed knobs on his tape recorder back in 1958. There was Alvin and the Chipmunks in 2007 and The Squeakquel in 2009.

Which brings us down to this year and Alvin and the Chipmunks: Chipwrecked, the third in the series. Dave Seville (Jason Lee) takes the boys on a cruise, for no better reason than if they’re going to wind up being “chipwrecked,” they have to start out on a “chip.” Also aboard is Ian (David Cross), the nasty record executive who cruelly exploited the Chipmunks in the first movie, then the Chipettes in the second, and whose career has gone down the tubes because he lost his prize clients to Dave. Now the only job he can hold is dressing up in a pelican suit as the cruise ship’s mascot.

Among other mischief, Alvin gets one of his here-comes-trouble ideas to go parasailing on a kid’s kite off the side of the ship. The kite flies loose, taking Alvin, Theodore and Simon, plus the Chipettes—Eleanor, Jeanette and Brittany—with it. To make a long story short (if it’s not already too late for that), the gang winds up on a desert island, a sort of Swiss Family Chipmunk.

Also on the island, searching for them, are Dave and Ian, though, honestly, I don’t remember how that happened, these Chipmunk movies being easily forgotten by anyone over the age of 9.

Various things happen. The Chipmunks discover an inhabitant of the island named Zoë, played by Jenny Slate in a parody of the Tom Hanks movie Cast Away that will soar over the heads of kids in the audience and draw a so-what shrug from the grownups. Simon gets bitten by a spider and undergoes a personality change to the reckless, swashbuckling “Simone.” (His voice changes too; evidently the Pepe Le Pew accent was beyond Matthew Gray Gubler, so Alan Tudyk was called in.) There’s something about a hidden treasure in a cave that obsesses Zoë and turns her briefly into a villainess. Oh, and the island has a volcano that’s about to erupt.

Through it all, Alvin learns to be responsible, Simon learns to let his romantic side shine through the egghead now and then. Everybody learns something or other that makes them feel good. We in the audience learn that it’s an hour and 40 minutes later than it was when we came in.

Like every kid since 1958, I spent my childhood with Alvin and the Chipmunks, too, and on some level, I really want to like these movies—but I can never remember them long enough. What the hell, the kids like them; maybe these movies help get them used to sitting still long enough to appreciate something like Hugo, which really can tell them something about movie magic.

Meanwhile, Chipwrecked is harmless candy that won’t rot their teeth. Stay tuned for 2013.