Chasing Papi
Three women (Roselyn Sanchez, Sofia Vergara and Jaci Velasquez) gang up on the guy who’s been three-timing them (Eduardo Verastegui) and learn in the process that sisterhood is powerful. The stars, mostly veterans of Spanish-language soap operas, seem surprisingly awkward and self-conscious in front of the camera. Perhaps it’s the fault of director Linda Mendoza (also a TV import); she encourages empty frenzy and always seems to put the camera in exactly the wrong place. Then there’s the script by Laura Angelica Simon, Steven Antin, Alison Balian and Elizabeth Sarnoff—all stale contrivance, low on conviction and high on clunky dialogue. The FBI (in the form of a sultry Lisa Vidal) and a suitcase of gangster money (gamely pursued by D.L. Hughley) pop up, too, but keeping track of it all hardly seems worth it.