Bush country

Dagnabbit, it seems like that pesky George Dubya won the election after all, so now’s as good a time as any for you Sore Losermans to head on over to J.R.’s Texas Bar-B-Que and eat some crow. Actually, the only birds you’ll find here are chickens that have been mesquite-smoked clean through to the bone. Pork ribs, beef brisket and beef ribs that look like something you’d find on Fred Flintstone’s plate receive similar treatment, and J.R.’s got all the fixings as well: cornbread, cole slaw, cowboy beans and onion rings. It’s all served on checkered tablecloths in a smoky hangar that retains just a whiff of Texas crude and, if you’re lucky, the McPherson Brothers, Frank and Brian, state and national champions of new country karaoke, just might be singing tonight. Don’t forget to check out the wall of fame, where you’ll see pictures of the Texas Bar-B-Que stock-car racing team and more SN&R Best of Sacramento awards than you can shake a stick at. Dick Cheney says two thumbs up. If he’s still alive.