Bumper nuts

When I first saw them hanging from the back bumper of a high-rise pickup truck, I thought, “That’s freakin’ nuts.” Well, uh, it’s bumper nuts. I’ve even spotted a pair dangling from the bumper of a big truck in Midtown. Yep, Freud was right: Size does matter. The only ones we’ve seen “live” have been whippin’ in the wind beneath oversized quad-cab monstrosities that obviously never hauled a bale of hay since rolling off the assembly line. Like the spotless hats and shiny boots of the urban cowboy, these truck nuts seem to belong to the wannabe with something to prove—but then, who else needs to accessorize a work vehicle until it’s too pretty to go to work? If a decal cartoon character pissing on a Ford logo doesn’t make you feel man enough, a pair of brass ones may help. Riiiight.