Bring on the locusts

We’ve had a string of disasters in California lately: the tripled car tax, Johnny-come-lately budgets, deficits that postpone wages, the hi-dee-ho governor’s vaudeville recall competition, and the latest saga of who did what to whom in Tinseltown or the NBA last week.

And then there are the facts that selling air and water has become as profitable as selling land; the old can’t enjoy the sunset, nor youth the sunrise, because workers leave home before dawn and return after nightfall; hot dogs have become gourmet cuisine; initiative petitions wait to be signed at every supermarket; credit-card offers are the new postal spam; cable bills climb halfway to the stars; men are never supposed to age past 30, nor women past 25; and the debt and divorce rates (among other things) exceed those of every other state in the union.

I thought I might invest in a pest-control company, considering that the only thing that hasn’t been legislated into existence, been ordained by industry, or occurred naturally in California yet is a plague of locusts. I’d like to let the governor know I’m not happy about my energy bills, among other things, but I intend to support him in the upcoming “circus” recall election—first, because we still can have a democracy in California; second, because I am too poor not to vote; third, because I realize, unlike so many undiscerning taxpayers, that no one single-handedly sabotages an entire state; and fourth, because there is a decided difference between occasional poor judgment and outright malfeasance.

What I really think we need is God-inspired leadership. If we could bring this to fruition, we could have terrific state and national governments. However, though this would eliminate a lot of bull, it would leave us scrambling to fill 95 percent of the vacancies it would create in government, beginning with the presidency.

But instead, we labor under the potential for an action-figure governor. I truly dislike political wannabes who conceal their true aspirations by pulling money from desperately needed social programs to launch an after-school program.

We cannot endure another actor in the governor’s chair, taking direction from someone else’s script; nor do we need bored, wealthy white men looking for a new toy labeled, “California, my ticket to the White House.”

California is a real place with real people and real issues. We deserve some attention.