Break off a piece of ‘09

OK: All that matters this week is what you’re doing on New Year’s Eve. Here are more suggestions than you can possibly handle; we recommend champagne, brut:

Happy funkin’ New Year’s Eve: R&B and old-school tunes from Mercy Me! W, 10pm. $30. Harlow’s, 2708 J St.; (916) 441-4693.

Go wild, girls: Been wanting to flash your twins to a crowd? Why not do it on New Year’s, when the next day you can be like, “That was the old me in oh-eight. I’ve changed.” Until your new BF of oh-nine sees you on Girls Gone Wild. But what’s he doin’ watching that trash, anyway? W, 9pm. Call for cover. Barcode Nightclub & Lounge, 1890 Arden Way; (916) 929-0232.

Party like it’s the rapture! … Assuming you want to go to heaven. The Christian Singles Network dance will include dinner at 7:30 p.m., a deejay, fox-trot lessons, noisemakers and nonalcoholic drinks. W, 7pm. $30 in advance, $35 at the door. La Sierra Community Center, 5325 Engle Rd. in Carmichael; (916) 483-7826.

The best New Year’s deejays: What will be the trends of 2K09? If anyone knows it’s deejays Shaun Slaughter, Roger Carpio and Jon Droll. Celebrate. W, 9pm. $10. Blue Lamp, 1400 Alhambra; (916) 455-3400.

Get hot, get spicy: Celebrate with passionate Latin dancing. Even those who can’t carry a beat are invited, but may not want to enter the dance contest. Instead, enjoy the food, drinks and live band while ogling the pros. W, 8pm. $35 in advance, $45 at the door. Hyatt Regency Sacramento, 1209 L St.; (916) 479-0198.

Couples welcome, too: But it’s really for single peeps in the Big Tomato. With two bands, deejays, casino games, a balloon drop and champagne fountains, what more could a single person ask for? Oh wait, there’s still that kiss at midnight. Booyah! W, 8:30pm. $65 in advance, $75 at the door. Hilton Sacramento Arden West, 220 Harvard St.; (916) 786-5858.

Party for real: DJ Eddie One, DJ Peeti-V, complimentary midnight champagne toast and party favors. W, 8pm. $25 advance. Avalon Bar and Nightclub, 805 15th St.; (916) 553-4277.

It’s electrifying: Frank Hannon of Tesla, Slight of Hand, Life in 24 Frames and Spiritual Octane. W, 8pm. $15 in advance, $20 day of show. The Boardwalk, 9426 Greenback Ln. in Orangevale; (916) 988-9247.

A local hip-hop New Year’s: Righteous Movement, Tofu916, DJ Supe, DJ Wokstar, DJ Esef and KDK. Free midnight champagne toast. W, 8pm. $5 before 10pm, $10 after. Capitol Garage, 1500 K St.; (916) 444-3633.

Or take in a movie: Screening of music videos from Sac Music Seen. W, 8-11pm. No cover. Crest Theatre, 1013 K St.; (916) 442-7378.

Another dance option: DJ Elements, red-carpet photo area and balloon drop. W, 7pm. Call for cover. Empire, 1417 R St., (916) 448-3300.

If you’re in Citrus Heights: The Pine Box Boys, KB & the Slingtones and Colonel Jimmy & the Blackfish. W, 9pm. $12. Fire Escape Bar and Grill, 7431 Madison Ave.; (916) 967-5464.

Hella British: Indie bands Not for Profit, the Inversions, the Polymers and Aimee Bord. W, 9pm. $5. Fox & Goose, 1001 R St.; (916) 443-8825.

Where K.J. will party: Performance by cast members of Forever Plaid and Stomp, light show and ball drop. W, 11pm. Corner of K and 10th streets in downtown.

Dog party. Well, not really. DJ Dip-N-Flip. W, 8pm. Call for cover. The Kennel Club, 5821 Auburn Blvd.; (916) 339-1675.

A Mother of a bash: Favorites the Mother Hips: This will sell out. W, 9pm. $35. Marilyn’s on K, 908 K St.; (916) 446-4361.

Swanky: First seating four-course meal, 5:30-8pm, $55 per person; second seating five-course meal, 8-10:30pm, $100 per person, includes Ultra Lounge admission. Deejay dancing in the Lounge. W, 8pm. $45 in advance. The Park Ultra Lounge, 1116 15th St.; (916) 442-7222.

Real rock: Th’ Losin Streaks, the Knockoffs and Pets—three of Sac’s favorites. W, 9pm. $10. Old Ironsides, 1901 10th St.; (916) 442-3504.

The oldest Sac: Sky Spectaular with live music, two fireworks shows, children’s activities, fire jugglers and food and drink vendors. W, 6pm-12:30am. Free. Old Sacramento.

Vague, but probably hard rock: There’s gonna be a party and free champagne toast. W, 8pm. On the Y, 670 Fulton Ave.; (916) 487-3731.

Wear a bikini? DJ Rigatony, red-carpet photo area and complimentary party favors. W, 8pm. Call for cover. Sandbar, 7242 Arcadia Dr. in Citrus Heights; (916) 772-2400.

New Year’s blues: Stacie Eakes and the Superfreakes. W, 9pm. Call for cover. Torch Club, 904 15th St.; (916) 443-2797.