Best way to die at a sporting event

Baseball season is over, but take notes for next spring. Maybe the Sacramento River Cats are down 5-0, bottom of the seventh inning, and you decide some self-mutilation is the only thing that will make you feel better. Don't bother with another beer—order the Donut Bacon Cheeseburger. It's exactly what it sounds like: A bacon cheeseburger, with two doughnuts for buns. The result is both delicious and horrifying—sweet, salty, meaty, cheesy, soft and chewy all at once. I could only eat a quarter before I felt sick. Full disclosure: I also ate two doughnuts—one with bacon—earlier that day. 400 Ballpark Drive in West Sacramento, (916) 376-4676, www.rivercats.com. J.B.