Best place for seriously illegal speeding

It’s impossible to go the speed limit on Salmon Falls Road on a motorcycle. Can’t be done. The road has what motorcyclists refer to as “flow.” Once you’re caught in its infectious groove, you’re going to turn the wick up.

Fifty miles per hour? Who are they kidding?

Certainly not the scores of local motorcyclists who visit Salmon Falls Road weekly to blow the cobwebs out of their brains. Beginning in El Dorado Hills, this 10-mile ribbon of asphalt winds east along the southern shore of Folsom Lake, sweeping past McMansions and horse ranches and cutting through a rocky hillside before exiting at Pilot Hill on Highway 49. It’s the nearest set of twisties to downtown Sacramento and thus draws motorcyclists like flies. Why? Well, there’s nothing quite like watching the pavement disappear beneath your feet at more than 100 mph to teach you about life’s priorities. Those problems at work suddenly don’t seem so important when your more immediate concern is hitting the apex correctly instead of shooting over the side of a cliff or wrapping yourself around an oak tree. Hit that apex just right, and the world seems like a better place. Miss it, and you’ll be in a world of hurt.

Which brings us to priority No. 1 for this highly unauthorized sport: safety. There’s a distinct lack of runoff areas along the whole route, meaning if you somehow manage to evade the approaching car that’s crept into your lane, you’re still totally screwed, because you’re gonna eat a guardrail or telephone pole. Maybe, maybe, if you’re wearing proper protective gear, including a full-face helmet, armored jacket and pants, padded boots and gloves, you might crawl away with a minor case of road rash. But make no mistake, more than one motorcyclist has bit the dust pitting his or her skills against the road.

And now it’s time for a public-service announcement:

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Once you’re all geared up, it’s time for some serious unauthorized activity. Your approach to the road will be determined by your mount. The ideal corner-carving tool is a sticky-tired sport bike like, say, a Suzuki GSX-R1000 or a Yamaha R6 or a Ducati 1098. Blessed with violent acceleration and superior cornering ability, such bikes are easily capable of rounding corners at three times the posted limit, meaning that if the yellow warning sign says 25 mph, taking it at anything less than 75 mph is pussing out. You rocket from corner to corner, braking at the last possible second, pitching the bike sideways at the apex, trailing your knee on the asphalt to gauge the lean angle, the edges of the tires on the verge of losing traction until the fat slick hooks up and you jet down the next straightaway, front wheel pawing at the air in a lurid wheelie.

Seriously illegal, seriously dangerous and seriously fun, as long as you don’t eat it or get busted by the cops, who just might take your license away for a triple-digit speeding violation. It is not uncommon to see large groups of sport-bike riders parked along Salmon Falls Road, the sheriff pulled in behind them, ticketing every last one of them. It’s a bad way to end the weekend, trust me.

And now it’s time for another public-service announcement:

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Personally, I prefer a slightly more sedate mount, my BMW R 1150 GS, which is heavier and less powerful than a sport bike, but still plenty capable of getting the adrenaline flowing. I don’t worry too much about the straights, since top speed isn’t the Beemer’s forte. But I do set a goal of hitting corners at twice the posted limit, braking deep, heeling the heavy beast over, riding the torque curve out of the corner. Nowhere near the outright exhilaration of a sport bike, but exciting nonetheless.

Harley-Davidsons and similar Japanese cruisers are even slower and heavier than my bike, but you’d still be pressed to keep one under the speed limit on Salmon Falls Road, even with a passenger on the back. Warning: Just because you’re going slower than everybody else on the road doesn’t mean that the T-shirts, short pants and eggshell-thin beanie helmets you and your girlfriend are wearing are gonna protect you if you hit the deck. Always wear proper protective gear!

From Sacramento, the easiest way to get to Salmon Falls Road is to travel east on Highway 50 and take the El Dorado Hills Boulevard exit. Go north on the boulevard toward Folsom Lake. When the boulevard crosses Green Valley Road, it becomes Salmon Falls Road. The road opens up with a series of gentle, fast sweepers, and before you know it, you’re doing 70 in a 55. Don’t fight it. It’s no use.

Right around here you’ll encounter the last passing lane for the next 10 miles, so if there are any cars or trucks in front of you and you’re looking to build up some speed, better pass them here. Otherwise, you’ll get stuck behind the slow-moving bastards and be forced to pass them on the double yellow. Scope out the scene carefully first. Passing on the double yellow is a serious traffic offense.

Once the coast is clear and the open road beckons, grab a handful of throttle and turn up the fun. Feel the rhythm as you shift weight from side to side through the elegant switchbacks, your stomach drop out as you crest the top of hills, your pulse hasten as you round blind corners at ridiculously high speed. Cross the bridge at the south fork of the American River, and carve your way up the side of the canyon, carrying as much momentum as possible through sharp, 20-mph hairpins, until you come out on the flat leading to Pilot Hill.

There, you’ll find a country store with the meanest clerk you’ve ever encountered and right next door, the Hind Quarter House, where a burger, a beer and good conversation with fellow motorcyclists who’ve made the same journey can be had. Take it easy on the brewskies, because the best part of the trip has been saved for last: You get to head back the way you came, the road in reverse presenting a whole new set of challenges. As far as quick adrenaline fixes go, it doesn’t get any better than this.

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