Are We There Yet?

A bachelor (Ice Cube) who hates children falls for a divorcée (Nia Long) with two kids and rashly volunteers to escort them 350 miles to join their mother on a business trip. He doesn’t know that these kids hate everyone their mother dates and that they’re determined to get rid of him, too. The contrived script (by Steven Gary Banks, Claudia Grazioso, J. David Stem and David N. Weiss) is only one problem in this laughless comedy—the plot complications are annoying and infuriating, and neither director Brian Levant nor the writers have the finesse to make them funny. Another drawback is the kids. They’re not very good actors, but it wouldn’t help if they were; nobody could make these little monsters likeable. Parents, be warned: If you take your kids to see this, you’re just asking for trouble.