Are the feds gonna shut down legalization?

I’m confused. Are the feds gonna try and shut down legalization or what?

—Charles Ulysses Farley

Good question. If U.S. Attorney General Jefferson Beauregard “I thought the Ku Klux Klan was ok until I learned they smoked pot” Sessions had his way, every pot grower, club owner, vape maker and cannabis user would be in federal pound-me-in-the-ass prison doing serious time. Jeff Sessions hates weed. He recently sent letters to the governors of four legal-cannabis states complaining about their cannabis regulatory systems. Of course, Sessions’ complaints relied on shoddy data and more than a few misconceptions. Washington State Attorney General Bob Ferguson was so moved by Sessions’ letter that his office released a statement voicing his displeasure:

“I was disappointed by Attorney General Sessions’ letter, which relies on incomplete, inaccurate and out-of-date information on the status of Washington’s marijuana regulations. I’m also disappointed that he has yet to accept my repeated invitations to meet in person to discuss this critical issue face-to-face. If he does accept, I look forward to providing him with a more complete picture of the robust regulatory program that exists in our state.

“Any action from the Department of Justice short of allowing our well-regulated, voter-approved system to continue is unacceptable. I will continue to defend the will of Washington voters.”

Woo-hoo, Bob Ferguson! The bottom line is this: Weed stays winning. Marijuana wins elections. Democracy in action. The people have spoken and it is up to the government to follow the will of the people. Duh.

It is most likely way too late for the DOJ to do much about it anyway. Weed makes too much money for too many people, and we all know money makes the world go ’round. The DOJ doesn’t have the resources to go after the thousands of people involved in the legal cannabis industry. I mean, are they gonna arrest the governors of all the states where cannabis is legal? Ha!

For Jeff Sessions to continue to go after the legal cannabis industry would be a huge mistake. Colorado has had legal cannabis for more than five years. There has been no increase in crime, no increase in traffic deaths, no real problems at all. Weed creates jobs, tax revenue and good times. Jeff Sessions needs to leave the cannabis industry alone and use the time and resources of the Department of Justice to go after real criminals and threats to American society.

Perhaps he could spend his time arresting white supremacist terrorists instead of going after law abiding cannabis users.

I heard you were just in Seattle. How’s the weed?

—Cap I. Tollhill

The weed in Washington state has gotten way better, although I feel like all the commercial weed I smoked was harvested too early and cured too fast, resulting in pleasant but short-lived effects. Still the third best weed in the country.