A high for down low

What’s this I hear about a cannabis-infused sex lube? Does it work?

—Delores Poussey

Yes. It exists. The most popular brand, called Foria, is a mix of coconut oil and cannabis. All of the reviews I have seen have been positive, with most users reporting pleasant, tingly sensations in their nether regions. Sounds like fun to me. I am a fan of mixing weed and sex. Who doesn’t like to do the smokey-pokey? It’s a bit pricey (the small bottle will set you back about 44 bones), but whatever floats your man-in-the-boat. Have fun.

I heard the U.N. may take on recreational marijuana use. What do you think about this? Good or bad thing? And would you be willing to represent us at the U.N. for both recreational and medicinal cannabis use? Thanks, man.

—Sheldon

You know, people mention that whole “we can’t legalize weed because it goes against various treaties the United States has with the U.N.” every so often. It’s not really true. Most U.N. treaties have loopholes about each country’s constitutional process. Since we are a federalist deal, different states legalizing marijuana doesn’t really violate any treaty or convention. And anyway, what’s the U.N. going to do? Invade us? Over weed? Your RWNJ uncle may think this will happen, right after Obama declares himself emperor and takes away our guns, but seriously. The U.N. can’t stop us. We will have to address this issue sooner or later. Rick Steves, travel aficionado and cannabis expert (by the way, you can see him at the International Cannabis Business Conference in San Francisco, February 15-16) had a few words about international pot treaties in a recent interview for the Smell the Truth blog: “That’s what got me involved in this—the international laws the U.S. has written that requires all countries to lock up pot smokers or wage trade sanctions against everybody who doesn’t sign this treaty. It’s huge, and a horrible way to be part of the family of nations. It’s embarrassing. That’s going to be falling apart like mad in the next couple of years.

“That’s one of the reasons I’m so excited about California. California is among the biggest economic units in the world. When California goes, the U.S. is going to follow, I think.”

He’s right. If we keep legalizing weed in different states, the entire U.S. government will have to come around and get these treaties fixed. As to the second part of your question, I would love to be a (ahem) high-ranking ambassador. I bet my state dinners would be well attended.

I need a good, quick cannabis-infused dessert recipe.

—Pat Luck

Pound cake. Take a pound of butter, a pound of flour, a pound of eggs, a pound of sugar and a pound of weed. Kidding about the weed—make sure the butter is cannabis infused. Mix them together, pour the batter into a greased and floured cake pan and bake it at 325 degrees for 1 hour and 30 minutes. Garnish with fruit. Yum.