A cheater’s guide to Valentine’s Day

You know those insufferable jerks who get all “you shouldn’t just celebrate love one day out of the year, but every day” and “I refuse to participate in the commoditization of human emotion” on Valentine’s Day? We’re not going to do that. What I will point out is that while this holiday is an excellent excuse for the attached and unattached alike to indulge in all manner of fun, excessive behaviors, there are some lame traditions that come with it. Lucky for us all, this year it falls on a Sunday, which means there’s a plethora of events leading up to but not on the actual day. Which means that come Sunday, instead of dropping $200 on red roses, oysters and filet mignon (how inspired!), your celebrating will already be done and you can spend the night watching the Netflix and chilling, as the kids say these days. It’s cheating, sort of, but you’re only screwing the system.

That the Sacramento Natural Foods Co-Op (1900 Alhambra Boulevard) wrote a description for a class called Passion for Pork that takes place three days before Valentine’s Day without any puns involving porking is impressive (well, at least to SN&R’s writers). Also impressive: You coming out of this class knowing how to make Kalua pig loco moco, pulled pork sandwiches, chili verde and a braised pork chop in time to make that special someone or your special self dinner instead of going out. Registration is $49 and the class goes from 6:30 p.m. to 8:30 p.m.on Thursday, February 11; visit www.sacfoodcoop.com for more information.

If this is more of a drinking holiday for you, get in on the second Annual Cupid’s Revenge Pub Crawl, which begins at Cornerstone Cafe (2326 J Street) on Saturday, February 13, at 2 p.m. Tickets are $5-$10 and will get you food and drink specials all night, plus there will be an anti-Cupid costume contest and a scavenger hunt. Tickets can be purchased at http://cupidcrawl.nightout.com.

Stick it to Hallmark and get major thoughtfulness points by making your own valentine this year at Make a Valentine Class for Guys on Thursday, February 11, from 6 p.m. to 8 p.m. at the Verge Center for the Arts (625 S Street). The class will be led by resident artist Gioia Fonda and the cost is $15, which includes a beer; register at http://vergeart.com/learn/
classes/guys-make-valentine. If you’re really feeling the art vibes after that, check out Date Night at the Gallery (405 Vernon Street, Suite 100 in Roseville) the very next night from 7 p.m. to 9 p.m., during which you and a partner will make ceramic pieces while sipping on wine. Admission is $30 per person and can be purchased at www.bluelinearts.org/event/date-night.