A box of wine and thou

So what happens when you’re on your way to see the latest Latvian metal import at some clandestine East Bay garret, and then somewhere around the Davis causeway, the rubber bands that propel your aging Renault Dauphine flake apart like an overcooked carp?

Easy. You look for something to do that’s a little closer to home.

For the marginally unhinged, art galleries can make for a promising night out; getting all snockered on freebie box wine while pretending to look at what’s hanging on the wall can be quite the bee’s knees. Most galleries have a certain standard of polite decorum that must be maintained, however; collapsing down on all fours and barking at female gallery-goers after too much vin dans une boîte can make for major embarrassment, for you and for everyone else involved.

Some galleries, though, have a slightly looser vibe than others. Like Gallery Horse Cow: OK, it’s probably not cool to get stinko and go woof-woof at the ladies there, either, but the Second Saturday soirées there often can be quite fun—within reasonable limitations. This Saturday, September 14, you can hang out at Horse Cow from 7 p.m. to 10 p.m. and check out the paintings of local artist Garin Moore and the black-and-white photographs of Bob Herron. The gallery’s located at 1409 Del Paso Blvd. Be sure not to bark at anyone.

If doing the galleries isn’t your dog bowl, there’s always commedia dell’ arte, right? Next Wednesday, September 18, from 7 p.m. to 8:30 p.m. at the Sierra 2 Center, there’s a free presentation (read: lecture and performance) on the masks used in commedia dell’ arte (read: company of professionals), a theatrical style that dates back to the late 16th century. Speaking will be Rafael Bianciotto, an Argentinean master of the genre from the Compagne Mario Gonzalez, who will present a five-day “mask master class” from September 19 to 23. The five-day seminar costs $350 and is open to adult students with previous training or experience. (At $350, most of these will be dead serious, as non-serious folks may opt to spend that $350 instead on vino in una scatola, of which $350 will purchase enough to embalm the average human through mid-decade, thus making him or her unable to perform even the most rudimentary feats onstage.) Interested parties can check out the Web site www.mistrelsmedia.com/commedia, or contact event organizer Melissa Baker directly at (530) 759-7773.