Your report, please

The Upper Crust
When asked, the two girls behind the counter had a brief discussion of the last health inspection, about one week ago. About five minutes later, I was handed a copy of their March 2001 report.

Kona’s
I was referred to the person in charge. She looked up, told me she would have to go look for it, and then proceeded to continue her training session of a new employee. Several minutes later, while she was demonstrating how to slice loaves to the new guy, it was obvious she wasn’t at all interested in finding the document for me. I left loudly sighing to get attention and she still wouldn’t acknowledge me.

The Black Crow
Apparently asking for this report is a managerial situation, or so thought the hostess. I waited for a few minutes to speak to the head honcho and when he came out, he seemed quite concerned as to why I was asking. I explained my task and his concern grew. He told me I had just caught them at their lunch rush, but he could produce the 2001 report. He took my name and number and said he would call as soon as he could find said document.

Cold Stone Creamery
The guys mixing the slabs of frozen dairy product with gummy bears told me that if there was a copy to see, it would be in the manager’s office, who was not in and whose office was locked.

Nobby’s
I asked for the copy, the owner walked to the side wall, unpinned it and handed it to me. She asked why, I told her, she smiled. “You are the first one to have it,” I told her. “You’re the first one to ask for it,” she told me.

Starbucks
The man in the green apron regretfully told me that the overlord of corporate coffee’s copy was not to be found. But if I were to come back later, the manager would most certainly produce it.

Jack In the Box
Between making breakfast Jacks, the fast food employee ran up to the office and back down in the time it took a customer to devour a hash brown patty. I received a slightly grease-stained copy.

Jack’s Restaurant
Seeming a little worried, the manager immediately found the report. He offered me a glass of water, which he assured me he’d boiled to an E. coli-free state. He also assured me that everything on the report had been “taken care of.”

Island Smoothies
I was sent to the back office where three different reports were shown to me from a manila envelope.

Has Bean’s First she said they didn’t have it. Then she said she’d call the manager. She whooped as she hung up the phone. "We have it here," she said. She looked all over for it and found the posted sign that said it was available upon request, but not the report. She called the manager again and then informed me that if I really wanted it, I would have to go to the county and request it there.