You gots to do it

I generally use this little space as an outlet for my retarded sense of humor, creative spelling and ole-fashioned cynicism. I do so in hopes of making at least one person somewhere add a cheap laugh to their day, whether perusing the paper over an expensive sushi lunch or picking fleas out of their hair on a park bench. But being a reverend, I do feel obliged to use the Cheese responsibly every once in awhile. And though George Dubya Bush may be a constant source of entertainment/shame, I can’t think of anything funny about his anti-environment stance. We’re already hated around the globe as a greedy, selfish country that contains 4 percent of the world’s population but causes 25 percent of its dangerous pollution (not to mention that our government bullies everyone and then lies about it). Everyone should read up, find responsible and intelligent teachers and (at least) write your congressman. One place to check out is www.zmag.org.

What did we expect allowing a Texas oilman in the White House? People should’ve taken to the streets. Now we’re in for more long-term problems (say goodbye to the Alaskan wilderness) unless “Middle America” speaks up. But the only catalysts ever capable of generating that appear to be inflation and body bags.

While all-knowing polls tell us that people won’t accept a 25-cent gas hike (which allows Bush to justify screwing international ecology programs), the entrenched rich ignore better technology that could be a part of a solution. But you can only bitch so much, then you have to do something. Be all that you can be; become an activist.

When the final Florida vote count is released soon, help impeach Bush and put an end to his coup d’etat.After the absurd derailing of Paul Reubens’ career because of a much-publicized whack-off session in a Florida porn theater, it’s great to see him on top again. It’s only fair! Pee Wee Herman is a lovable character, and the 48-year-old Reubens seems like a cool, humorous dude with personal style to boot. And what did he do that was any worse than that ham-hock Bill Clinton or blow-funnel Eddie Murphy (to cite another ‘80s icon)? He just did his thing in a public place where (it’s no secret) hard-up people go for just such things. Plus, he still hangs out with his everyday fans, sometimes to a ridiculous point (high school bonfires, trailer park dinners, etc.). I say welcome back.

Weekly props
1. The Senator Theater lives

2. Three Days of Rain at the Blue Room

3. StopBush2000 guitar picks (nice touch, Todd)

4. SF Giants