Where’s the remote?

AND NOW, A WORD FROM OUR SPONSOR The short respites between sports behemoths like the Super Bowl, the Olympics and March Madness are smattered with commercials—the great TV common denominator. Whether they’re art or annoyance, it’s up to you to decide.

Burger-meister Jack in the Box made the news recently when it promoted its taco deal by depicting a dopey and highly suggestive young dude in a ’70s-style van having a heart-to-heart with his dashboard Jack bobble-head. When Jack talks him into ordering 30 tacos, he gleefully giggles, “That’s what I was thinking!” triggering the Pot-Dar (that’s marijuana RADAR, in case you were too stoned to figure that out) in viewers everywhere.

Never mind there was no tell-tale smoke, animated wallpaper or hippie paraphernalia anywhere in these 30 seconds—it was inferred, and people were pissed. Eight-year-old kids saw fit to speak out on this romancing of the stoniness, concerned mothers furrowed their brows and thousands of high schoolers across the nation dropped out and turned on to two-for-one tacos. And then they came back home, sat across the dinner table from mom and pop, cued up the series finale of the Emmy-winning That ‘70s Show (May 2006), and nobody saw the irony, not a one.

THE OTHER BOWL The fact the NFL decided to give limp boner ads the whack for Super Bowl (check out this great quote—I can’t make this stuff up! “The NFL’s pullout is the latest setback for erectile-dysfunction ads.” Pittsburgh Post-Gazette, Jan. 12, 2006) didn’t give much of a bounce to the remaining ads featured between plays.

Worth mentioning: Burger King’s Whopper ballet, complete with women dressed as transparent tomato slices, luminescent lettuce and a char-broiled burger, presented a bizarre spectacle as layer after layer of this crinolined cuisine piled up, presenting a mouthwatering delight, fit even for the Kreepy King.

And AmeriQuest Mortgage scored a sleeper hit with its “Don’t Be Too Quick to Judge” tagline, featured after a doctor kills a fly buzzing over a patient with the electric paddles and announces “We killed that one,” as the concerned family walks in. And the woman in the window seat of the plane who, due to a turbulent twist, ends up straddling her seatmate as the lights come back on.

I DARE YOU TO USE THE “L” WORD I would love to know why it is that most women I know (straight, or otherwise) who watch Showtime‘s lipstick-lesbian soap opera The L Word, are entranced by it, yet few of the men are titillated. I’d thought that with all the baring of breasts (season 3, episode 5, “Lifeline” featured at least six pair), men would be glued to the tube, yet so far all I hear are complaints. “This show is so unrealistic,” has got to be my favorite. Hey guys, it’s freakin’ TV! Who said it was realistic? You’re not lesbian, why are you complaining? Since TLW was just renewed for another 12 episodes in 2007, someone’s lovin’ it. I’d like to hear from men on why they don’t (or possibly do) like TLW.