Where’s the remote?

So you think TV isn’t a dynamic medium anymore; that it’s just lulling plebeians to sleep at night with ubiquitous re-runs of That ‘70s Show, CSI and Law and Order dominating the landscape? Ah, well then, find the remote, because there is much more in store now than just the same ol’, same ol’…

Um, is that Erasure? LOGO, the first LGBT-oriented network in the stratosphere, debuted this June, and may I add, ABOUT DAMN TIME! LOGO features original series as well as primetime retreads and flicks. Super-cool is the syndicated Wonderfalls (formerly on FOX—shout out to Andy Partridge!) and more Graham Norton than anyone should ever willingly wish to be exposed. Keep one eye open for those CBS News on LOGO segments sprinkled liberally through the programming, featuring CNN-transplant Jason Bellini.

Mow that lawn! Now you can get your full recommended daily allowance of greens when you tune into Showtime’s newest original series, Weeds. See Mary-Louise Parker as Nancy, newly widowed suburbanite who turns to paying the bills with dough she makes as the neighborhood pot dealer. Under the tutelage of her continuously stoned accountant and business adviser, Doug (Kevin Nealon), Nancy’s business grows (thanks to her inner-city connection) while the reality of it all harshes her buzz.

Guaranteed to Suck: new show Ghost Whisperer, CBS, starring Jennifer Love Hewitt. Enough said. Really.

Desperate Identity. OK, I admit it, I took the “Which Desperate Housewife are you?” quiz on ABC.com. I have hooked myself on that show because I haven’t been all that into any nighttime dramedy since Melrose Place. Anyway, as I get caught up on TiVo’d reruns, I wonder at times which one I most identify with. After many silly questions on this quiz—with no correct answers—the result “Edie” was spit out, and a link to the page where I could buy my own tight “I’m an Edie” T-shirt. Particularly of note in my profile were my “short skirts” and “car-washing skills” admired by all in my neighborhood, as well as my competitive spirit. My god! How did they know?

Stay Tuned. Keep one eye open for the following upcoming events: Reunion (FOX, Thursdays at 9 p.m., beginning Sept. 8)—Friends who graduated in 1986 become suspects when one is murdered in 2005. Each episode unfolds one year of the mystery leading up to the reunion. Also, the debauchery continues with all new episodes of Family Guy (FOX, Sundays at 9 p.m., beginning Sept. 11).

Next week in Technobabble (CN&R’s new tech column): .XXX domains!