Unsatisfied

The bad news is that this is bad. There is no good news, or nostalgia isn’t what it used to be. With a new wave of American Horror Film seemingly ensuing, a trip back to that tired old well of the icons of 80’s stalk-'n'-slash seems a bit regressive.

Demonic child-slayer Freddy Krueger is trapped in Hell, his avenue to escape—the dreams of the teens on Elm Street—is blocked by the parents who are keeping their kids surreptitiously doped up with an experimental dream blocker. So Freddy somehow (it really isn’t clear) resurrects machete-wielding zombie Jason Voorhees to make a trek to Elm Street to kill by proxy, and for some reason this makes Freddy stronger. Eventually, they get pissed off at each other and fight.

If you just want a cookie-cutter retread of the two franchises, you might get a kick out of this. It certainly delivers with the blood and gratuitous boobies. Unfortunately, that’s all it has to offer. Too many missed opportunities here. Perhaps having something scary happen. Maybe have a few cheap jolts that aren’t telegraphed. Or include some suspense. Or lacking that, throw in some amusing bon mots from Freddy. (I’m sorry, when "Welcome to my world, bitch" is the best they can come up with…) Maybe even a decent ending. Instead, we get some studio suit insisting the show end with a wink, satisfying no one.