The Love Guru

After a six-year absence Mike Myers inexplicably thinks that a thinly veiled minstrel show is the key to his comeback. Here Myers sashays his Austin Powers shtick via the threads of Guru Pitka, a wildly popular Hollywood self-help enabler. He resents Deepak Chopra’s reign as the go-to guru, and sees a way to displace him by reconciling an on-the-skids hockey superstar with his estranged wife so that the Maple Leafs can win the Stanley Cup and Pitka can get in the pants of the team owner (Jessica Alba). Also on hand is Vern “Mini Me” Troyer as the team manager and recurring butt of Myers’ derision. The aforementioned key unlocks nothing but a dusty vault of dick, masturbation and poop jokes. Hands down, The Love Guru is one of the most cynical pieces of crap joke-recycling of recent memory … creaky witticisms literally dredged from the teeter-totter set.