The Lords of Salem
Ends tonight, April 25. Rocker-turned-director Rob Zombie takes one more step backward into irrelevancy. His latest is not so much a movie as it is a novelty, a pastiche of the ’70s Italian school of horror that goes for baroque without bothering with narrative consistency. While it’s nice to see old horror stalwarts brought in to chew the scenery, any pleasure is diluted by Zombie’s Hot Topic approach and a script that meanders along on a slow burn until the inevitable resolution. Not much happens in between, as things sort of plod along from one spooky goings-on to another. It doesn’t help that Sheri Moon Zombie is such a pill as the heroine. She doesn’t bother to try acting, relying on her dreads, ass and tats to convey character. Cinemark 14. Rated R.