The Big Book of Porn

The Big Book of Porn comes off as an authoritative look at the history of porno movies, and it may be (Local Bastard is not as much of an expert in this field as he may let on), but the historical sections have a bunch of photos of dudes with mustaches and chicks in baggy satin negligees, while conspicuously leaving out the bulging history of implants and steroids. Thankfully, that’s not all there is, and what is left in Seth Grahame-Smith’s “Penetrating Look at the World of Dirty Movies” is a delightful golden shower of perverted tidbits: The Genres of Porn (“squirting,” “smoking,” “scat”—the normal stuff); “Porn-sitions” (“Dog in a Bathtub”—look it up, seriously, you must.); Porn Glossary (Who knew that “filling the pool,” “fixing a pothole,” “spackling” and “stomping a divot” were interchangeable?) and The Wisdom of Porn Dialogue (“Take off your pants. It’s the law,” from Debbie Does Dallas 2). Best for conversation at your next party though is the list of 300 real porn titles: Ally McFeel, Hairy Pooter and the Sorcerer’s Bone and of course the classic On Golden Blonde.