Ted

Ted is the best sitcom never allowed to air on television, an onion of ’80s-nostalgia porn that positively bursts at the seams with a giddy excitement at getting to play on the big screen. A lovable loser (Mark Wahlberg) with an amazingly hot girlfriend (Mila Kunis) is given an ultimatum to leave behind his childhood toys and join the adult world, or else. But the toy in this case is a walking, talking stuffed teddy bear (voiced by director and Family Guy creator Seth MacFarlane), and Wahlberg’s character and Ted the bear have been inseparable since the toy sprung to life after a Christmas wish 25 years before. But now that he is all grown up, Ted leaves behind his snuggliness to pound shots, snort lines of cocaine and bring home hookers. Complications ensue. There are a whole lot of ways this premise could’ve gone wrong, and fast, but MacFarlane pulls off the impressive feat of delivering a consistently hilarious comedy that demands its audience sink or swim rather than spoon feed them the jokes with soothing tones. Cinemark 14, Feather River Cinemas and Paradise Cinema 7. Rated R.