Superman Returns

Look, up in the sky! It’s a bird! It’s a plane! It’s a … oh, wait—it is a bird … a big ol’ fat turkey in fact, unwieldy and anachronistic in its flight back into the multiplex after a 19-year absence. The structure of Superman Returns is built on the thin premise that Superman (Brandon Routh)—and by implication Clark Kent—went AWOL from the world stage five years ago and they have only now returned. In the interim, Lois Lane has had a kid and coerced some schmuck into thinking it is his. Meanwhile, Superman drops by to rescue her and make nice. But our Pulitzer Prize-winning reporter (Kate Bosworth) ain’t havin’ none of that, what with some issues about him being away for five friggin’ years after having knocked her up. So for the rest of the movie everyone just orbits about each other with furrowed, resentful brows, except for Jimmy Olsen, who seems really, really excited that Clark Kent is back.