Scrambled eggs

Last week the Chico Chamber of Commerce held its annual State of the City get-together. Part of the “Eggs and issues” series, the event has lost some of its luster and focus in recent years. I remember the first one I attended at the old Lyons Restaurant on Mangrove Avenue about a decade ago. The place was packed. The entire council and City Manager Tom Lando gave talks about, naturally, the state of the city. But in the intervening years enthusiasm for the event has dropped off considerably. This year, I didn’t go. I wasn’t alone. Three of seven councilmembers didn’t show either. Reportedly the state of the city, at least for a couple of the councilmembers who did show, was more of an opportunity to make campaign stump speeches. Councilmembers Steve Bertagna and Larry Wahl, who are both up for re-election this year, seized on the opportunity to rail against the Humboldt Dump cleanup plan and the city’s new tree ordinance, two controversial and politically polarizing issues. The chamber, which immersed itself in politics a few years ago when it began endorsing council candidates, should decide what it wants from these “state of the city” affairs, or at least change the name to something more suitable like “What’s your beef, councilmember?”

Democratic presidential candidate Dennis Kucinich will be at the Chico Women’s Club, at least in voice, on Friday, Jan 23. Kucinich supporters, pumped up after their candidate’s surprisingly strong showing in the Iowa Caucus (0.9 percent of the vote), promise an “inspirational, educational and highly entertaining, multi-media event” fund-raiser for the Ohio congressman. The shindig begins at 6 p.m. and will run to midnight. There will be dancing to the sounds of the Kucinich Convergence Tour Band plus local musicians and speakers. The highlight of the evening promises to be a live telephone call from the candidate and former mayor of Cleveland. Donations of $15 and $7 (students) are requested. A buffet is also offered for an additional $10 for adults and $5 for kids. The club is located at 592 E. Third St. For more info call Mira at 342-1628.

Free ad: Got a letter this week from Samuel P. Spottedhorse of Midland, Texas—hometown of President Bush. It was addressed to Chica, CA. “Dear, Editors of Choco News and Review,” Mr. Spottedhorse began. “Can I obtain FREE advertising to place my ad in your Choco News and Review. It will said, SAVE BIG $$$ ON GROCERIES! Call for more information 1-800-404-1475 ext. 520613 http://www.couponconnection.net/sps. Will Thank You.” Consider it done, sir. We can only assume that the language skills of both Mr. Spottedhorse and Mr. Bush (Sam Houston Elementary and San Jacinto Junior High, where he served as seventh-grade class president) are typical of the average student coming out of the Midland, Texas, school system. The city of Midland, the president has said, is one of risk-takers and a “town that knows the value of hard work and having an optimistic vision.” Mr. Spottedhorse’s ad, by the way, offers a couple of grocery coupon books, one for $84.95 and a second—one that could save the smart shopper as much as $200—for the completely reasonable price of $24.95. Talk about your risk-takers and optimistic visions.

The most pointless question in Chico (and quite possibly America) today comes when you order a cup of coffee at any of our local coffee houses: “Do you want room for cream?” the person behind the counter invariably asks. But no matter how you answer, the paper cup he or she hands you is unfailingly filled so close to the rim that adding cream is no longer an option. I suggest next time you are asked that question—assuming you indeed do want cream—answer loudly and with authority: “Yes, and I mean it this time!” Otherwise this futile dance will continue unabated.

I see over there at the Synthesis publisher Bill Fishkin has finally figured out how to fill that daunting column space he faces each week.

Enlarge the type! Just kidding, pal.