Not so bad

As a fan of bad cinema, all I can say is, Gigli is not that bad (although in much the same way that Ishtar isn’t as bad as claimed). While it’s not boring, it is misguided. Seemingly wanting to be a romantic black comedy, it lacks the needed cynicism to pull it off.

Gigli is Tarantino-lite for the teenybopper crowd.

The story? Ben Affleck is a goombah thug sent to kidnap and hold the brain-damaged brother of a high-powered prosecutor with the goods to take down a big-time goodfella. Trouble is middle management doesn’t trust Affleck’s chops anymore so they send in J-Lo to keep an eye on him. So, as they kick back with Rainman Jr., the only thing left to pass the time is to get it on, right? Wrong … she’s a lesbian. Now, the only thing left to do is wait around while people like Christopher Walken, Lainie Kazan, and Al Pacino stop by to deliver non sequitur performances, collect their paychecks, and move along.

Essentially, Gigli is pretty much a scenario padded out with monologues. Call it “The Hitman Vagina Monologues.” Affleck is a vacuum, as usual. J-Lo is J-Lo.

Result? Moderately diverting crap.