Local bastard

Must be able to perform without shirt on. Local melodic metal gods Red With Envy are looking for a new bass player. According to the job description floating around a few Internet message boards, bassist Randy Presleigh “left the band to pursue personal endeavors.” For a band in RWE’s position as a popular act with constant gigs, it makes sense that they’d be careful about just who they bring into the fold, but for your average Chico rocker, the post reads like an opening for regional manager for some chain restaurant: “Must be willing to work towards personal growth. … minimum of four months advance [notice] for time off.” But Local Bastard’s absolute favorite is “must have a variety of tones.” L.B. is kind of an autumn, but you probably wouldn’t want to take his shirt off until he waxed a little of that body hair away, at least.

Pot, you’re a kettle. Shame on L.B. for rarely taking his own advice on this one, but one of Chico’s most under-attended must-sees is the University Film Series at Chico State. Most Tuesdays at 7:30 p.m., the Humanities Center presents foreign films, obscure classics, documentaries and the occasional themed series for an “appreciated” donation of merely $3. Coming attractions: the documentaries of Dorothy Fadiman (sponsored by the Chico Feminist Women’s Health Center), Sept. 20 & 27; Roberto Rossellini’s 1946 Roma, Citta Aperta on Oct. 4 and Wofgang Staudte’s 1946 Morder Sind Unter Uns on Oct. 11 (both part of the 1945—Film and the Memory of the Second World War series); and Cinevardaphoto (Paris, 2005), three short cine-essays by Agnes Varda on Oct. 18.

What about Arnold? CN&R music contributor Christine LaPado just pointed L.B. to Google with the instruction of doing a search on the word “failure.” Wouldn’t you know it, the top site: www.whitehouse.gov/president/gwbbio.html, home of George W. Bush’s biography. (Though it should be noted that the very next listing is the homepage of Mr. Anti-Bush himself, Michael Moore, www.michaelmoore.com.)

Don’t get too excited all over yourself though, the Internet hasn’t gone and growed itself a brain. It’s just the Google Bomb, a technique pioneered couple years ago by blogger George Johnston. Using his Old Fashioned Patriot blog ( http://oldfashionedpatriot.blogspot.com), Johnston spurred a movement of adding “miserable failure” links to Web sites and blogs to make sure Dubya’s site came up when the phrase was put into the massive search engine. (See www.snopes.com/politics/bush/google.asp for the whole story.) Conservative talk radio moron Glenn Beck returned in kind, urging the “ sick freaks” who listen to his show (his term, not L.B.’s) to similarly push Moore’s site.

TO DO: Attention all music geeks! The Woot is having a yard sale. Yes, that Woot, Jason Wooten, owner of Speaker Connection, the speaker repair and rental shop on Walnut that houses some of the coolest vintage musical equipment in Chico. The Woot is a vintage pack rat, and though his yard sale this Saturday (Sept. 17, beginning at 8 a.m.) won’t include any shop inventory (this time), he says he’s “cleaned out [his] barn,” and that, in addition to “regular yard sale stuff,” there will be a lot of home speakers, weird electronics, old ’50s mono reel-to-reels and Hammonds for sale. Get there early (806 Ivy, corner of West Eighth Street) for the best deals, and come back at 8 p.m. for some live rock.

Also, don’t forget. Monday, Sept. 19 is International Talk Like a Pirate Day. So, “Arrr,” and all that.