Local bastard

The shuttle is landing. By the time this issue hits the streets, the countdown to that first 8 a.m class and the official opening day of the Town of Chico State will be at four days. To prepare, Local Bastard has provided a pocket checklist/countdown of 10 essentials and inanities to get us ready to put Mayberry away for the season:

1. Happy Hour—while you still can.

2. The hillbilly montage: www.bpninc.com/evideo .

3. Scope out the Chico State entertainment calendars: A.S. Presents: www.aschico.com/?Page=218 ; and Chico Performances/School of the Arts : www.csuchico.edu/hfa/chicoarts/artsinfo.html . L.B. has circled Jimmy Eat World (9/23), John Cleese ( Monty Python founder) (2/4), and Tinariwen (4/15), the band with the most badass press-kit quote ever: “The ten members in Tinariwen met at a rebel training camp in Libya and eventually traded their guns for guitars to sing songs of resistance.” That’s punk rock.

4. The new no-wave: Magik Markers ( www.magikmarkers.com/songs.htm )

5. Do that there thing: Get a rental car with Meadowlark Lemon’s credit card and double-park on the boulevard— Lyrics Born is on stage (for free) @ Chico State’s Rose Garden , Sat., 8/20, 7pm.

6. Jimmy Zhan, The Flying Mortician: World premiere of locally shot short film, Sat., 8/20, 10pm @ The Pageant Theatre (DVD-release pre-party, 8pm @ Café Flo ).

7. Hit the open StairMaster—while you still can.

8. Show some love to your local club. Off Limits: Rockabilly Night (8/20), The Runners, Treasures & The Americas (8/21), Fiberglass Jackets & Monster Women (8/22) Fulcrum Records: Gorch Fock & Bloody Knuckles (8/22); LaSalles: Chingus & Audio Therapy (8/24)

9. Sin City on DVD—out this week.

10. Send a message to Aubrey “TheRockerQueen” Debauchery . Get on MySpace ( www.myspace.com/aubreydebauchery ) and send a love note to Chico’s favorite troubadour, in the middle of her two-month summer tour with Drew Danburry . Straight from the middle of the Midwest a missive from Miss Debauchery: “Fuck the south. There are a lot of shitty solo artists coming out of New York. Boston and Baltimore have something, completely different things, but something for sure. And, for the curious, stay west—the humidity kills. Love and kisses, Aubrey and Drew. Is that good? (P.S. Tour is AMAZING.)

Gossip? Rumors? Love notes?