Local bastard

The Art of Noise. One of Local Bastard ’s all-time fave Nor-Cal bands was the noisy Bus from Davis. When former Bus guitarist Donald Beaman and his inventive hair systems moved to Chico, our town gained one of the most creative and hilarious dudes around, only to lose him to the East Coast in short order. “Der Schwann” (as he is at times known, affectionately) is still playing the inventive rock, and his new crew The Double (pictured below), featuring David Greenhill from Bus as well, has recently signed with Matador Records . See the Donald for yourself June 22 at Fulcrum Records .

Touch my monkey. I wish Trench were still around. The old Chico band’s lead screamer Jeff Lee (“Man is the fuck-up of nature!”) is still down in So-Cal training monkeys, ferrets and stuff for movies and TV, but recently he found the time to compile a bunch of new home recordings, as well a few sparkling gems done in Larry Crane ’s Jackpot Studios in Portland, Oregon, for his new musical identity, Dear Enemy . This is not the Jeff Lee who used to heat up the Juanita’s stage with no shirt on and Koyaanisqatsi showing on a video monitor. More Elliott Smith than screaming, post-apocalyptic meltdown, Lee’s new music is a pleasing blend of invention and clean pop. Check www.dearenemy.net.

“If they don’t feel it, they won’t do it.” —Jonathan Richman, from “They’re Not Tryin’ on the Dance Floor. People do not like to witness Local Bastard dancing, and it’s hard to blame them. With an arsenal of moves that includes little more than running in place and the occasional beached-whale version of The Centipede , he is not pretty. This bastard has ruined entire wedding receptions with his improvised Macarena moves. Who wants to practice dancing, though—where’s the fun? The sentiment in the Richman song will do just fine: Move however the music moves you, especially if you want to “Outwit, Outlast and Out-DANCE!” the competition at the Summer Dance Marathon and fundraiser for Letz Dance youth dance program at Matthew’s Café next month (July 16—pre-register for $40/couple at the café). Do the Fonz proud and help Joanie beat the evil cheerleading captain!

TO DO: Millions at the Pageant— two kids spending lots of money; Chico’s Celtic Knights of the Sea ’s annual Bloomsday celebration at the Blue Room (Thurs., 6/16, 7:30 p.m.)

TO BURN: Wish you knew what a particular new Chico band sounded like? Chances are there’s a MySpace account with that band’s name on it and an mp3 or two to sample. Type: www.myspace.com/nameofbandhere.

TWO MORE: TheDiscovery Channel’s Mythbusters is the best show on television, ever—geek out at the show’s site: http://dsc.discovery.com/fansites/mythbusters/mythbusters.html ; also very cool, Survival Research Labs: “Producing the most dangerous shows on Earth” ( www.srl.org ).