Local bastard

The Red Army. The Congress of Cardinals will soon convene to choose a new a pope, and Local Bastard can’t be the only sacrilegious one to wish TV cameras would be let in (thanks to associate editor Devanie for special research): The Vatican’s Next Top Pontiff? Who Wants to Wear a Funny Hat? Last Pope Standing? Pope My Ride? Where There’s Smoke, There’s a Pope? C’mon, help me out here…

Partying or principles? Our local youth-marketed music weekly is always standing up for Chico’s right to party. This week, in trying to come to terms with Phi Kappa Tau’s porn orgy, its reporter points the finger at efforts to quell the big Pioneer Days/Halloween/St. Patrick’s Day tension-releases as a contributing factor to “these scandalous outbreaks.” The thought being that we’re all so wound up here in the go-go world of the Northstate that only a collective public hurling can purge us of the urge to throw plastic rings ’round a rubber dildo sprouting from a porn starlet’s crotch. Oh…kay…?

Yes, with a but… Local Bastard is going to the Coco Caffe to check out local crews Slow Down Theo and Deerpen (Thurs., 4/7), but he’s not that happy about it. It’s not that the modern sounds of Chico’s fresh-faced boy bands don’t provide most of the reasons for living, it’s just that the venue leads me to No. 9 in my Top 10 Chico rock complaints: Our all-age rock show venues are not actually rock show venues. (Of course Justin Maximov has done a rad job of keeping all-ages big shows coming through Chico at the Senator and Brick Works every month for years, but we’re talkin’ rock clubs here—smalltime venues for regular local and touring rock shows.) Not since the D.I.Y.R.G. (and the Blue Room before that) have we had a rock club that didn’t share space with another business. Moxie’s, Fulcrum, Tower—all are doing a great job of “keeping the scene alive,” as it were, but coffee shops and record stores do not venues make. There’s too much money to made hawking legal drugs to college kids, of course, and Chico will always have bars for the rock. But the all-age club has been done before. Maybe all you bar mannequins can get off the stool and show the young’ns the way?

It’s no Shane’s World, but Media Casting, a Sacramento casting company is putting out the call for talent. Sat., 4/9, and Sun., 4/10, from noon to 5pm at the Chico Chamber of Commerce (300 Salem St.), the company will be holding auditions for three movies (75, Chopper Shop and Isolated), and local producer Mark Camaren will also be casting for a TV pilot, American Mac Daddy.

TO DO:
Join www.davidlynch.com ($10/month) for your between-film fix: “Bees,” “The Pig Walks” and the David Lynch “Daily Report.

The Makai at Off Limits (4/12)

Matt Hammons, Chico’s No. 1 rock star, returns to the Blue Room! Hedwig , Thurs.-Sat. nights.

TO BURN:
Beck, Guero; Will Smith, “Switch” (the handclaps never stop).

TWO MORE:
Hideaki Sekiguchi, bassist for Guitar Wolf, died of heart failure in his sleep last week at the age 38. And, Courtney Love continues her campaign to insure Francis Bean will become a brooding musician by signing up to play Deep Throat star Linda Lovelace in an upcoming biopic.

Email— noise@newsreview.com.