Local bastard

Hey Chico, is it me, or did you just get sexier? Let’s get this straight. There was porn, local porn, topping the KNVN 5 o’clock news last week. Right there, “exclusively” on Channel 24—I seen it. Pairs of silicone fun bags and blurred-out booties bounced through a cheering crowd into the Phi Kappa Tau frat house for a toga party and orgy. Playboy! Chico’s back! I’m not going to knock the frat boys for having sex with porn chicks (what drunk dude in his early 20s would refuse?), but guys, wear a jimmy, for crab’s sake! If you weren’t invited, no worries. With that new-fangled DVD technology, Shane’s World’s College Invasion #6 will still be available (only $24.95) when the PKT dudes’ kids begin rushing.

Speaking of online sex videos … We got a letter from a fan of San Diego pop-punkers Unwritten Law (coming to the Senator April 4) who is upset with an alternate take of the video for the band’s top-40 hit “Save Me,” available on its “unofficial” Web site, www.unwrittenlaw.net. Local Bastard sat through both the original and the bootleg version. The stiff animation (remember Dire Straits’ old “Money for Nothing” video?) was boring, and the only slightly graphic additions weren’t that shocking, just kind of creepy in that Heavy Metal the movie way.

Too sexy! With the upcoming release of the movie version of Dark Horse Comics’ Sin City—Frank Miller‘s dark, award-winning graphic-novel series—it seemed prudent to seek out some behind-the-scenes dirt from former Chico rock star and N&R writer Shawna Gore , now an associate editor for the Portland-based comics company. After suggesting that my “gimme some dirt” request was perhaps a bit broad, Gore did kick down a little in-the-know advice. After hangin’ with three of the film’s stars—Jessica Alba, Rosario Dawson and Jamie King—at a comics convention, Gore suggested that all the Alba admirers are missing the boat. … Rosario Dawson is the really hot one: “Holy hot dogs, she’s AMAZING looking. And quite nice.” Thanks for the tip, Shawna.

Not sexy. Though he tries hard (very hard), Normal St. Bar artist Thorn Hart‘s caricatures of fantasy bulges in the bar’s ads have hit a new low. This week’s full-pager not only misspells the “Ceasar” in César Chávez, but it also shows a tart with huge melons picking apples in an orchard with a stoned-looking racial stereotype apparently posing as the famed labor leader. The ad offers half-priced drinks to partiers dressed as Chávez, but only if they’re wearing the required “Sombrero” (spelled wrong, no less). Yikes.

Next week: Back to the Chico rock complaint countdown.

TO DO:

“Season for Non-violence” film fest at Pageant (4/2, 10am-5pm); Hedwig and the Angry Inch & I Love You, You’re Perfect, Now Change (both opening 4/7, 7:30pm) at the Blue Room and Chico Cabaret

TO BURN:

New Weezer, “Beverly Hills” video—shot at the Playboy Mansion

TWO MORE:

www.sxxxy.org: “News for perverts” & Sex Bots, robots that reproduce: www.hackaday.com/entry/1234000527037731