Local bastard

Me again. Dude, so I started off my first column last week in a depressed mood—shit was a little whack. But the boss is kicking down some extra Bear Bucks this week, and I got a new haircut (no more faux-hawk…it’s all about the Spock now), so bring on the party.

Good beer won’t turn green. While your Local Bastard is doing his best to break into Chico’s exclusive hipster circles, going into downtown Chico at night on a St. Patrick’s Day is still a little to crunk for my trunk. The party gets started in the early light of day anyway, but given Chico State’s current policy of un-scheduling the green day from the school calendar (how crunk is that?), St. Paddy’s Day downtown is just sad. I do not give a rip whether the bro-bras get to have their drinking holiday or not (seriously, even if you dislike Chico’s recent party-holiday policies, does a celebration sans inflated testosterone bum you out?), but three college dudes in green stumbling down the sidewalk alone at 11 a.m. and screaming, “No way! No way!” in each other’s faces without a crowd to chime in looks more like a homeless problem than a block party.

Do It Yerself Arts Garage. In the neighborhood of the old D.I.Y.R.G. punk-rock club (way down Park—Meyer to Commerce Court), a bunch of current and former Chico State art students have opened a new gallery. The Crux Art Collective is “dedicated to bringing a diverse, multi-dimensional art space to Chico, CA,” and according to one Cruxter, Christine Fulton, the crew has taken over a 2600-square-foot warehouse and divided it into several artist studios and one big gallery. Each week they have a different art party—dance workshops, writing workshops, open mics, game shows—and April 2 there will be a “direct encounter with Chico artists,” at the collective’s Around the Town Show. Check www.cruxarts.com for more.

Mark Lore, our Bizarro Devanie, is sticking around. Not only is Local Bastard stoked that Associate Editor Devanie Angel is back from maternity leave, but her formerly temporary replacement is taking over the CN&R calendar section.

Ten complaints about the rock in Chico. First punch, at No. 10: Wild Oak Records songwriter competitions, where local rockers battle it out at Has Beans, with the winner getting a chance to…play another show at Has Beans. Might I suggest an easier way to play Has Beans: walk in, ask if you can play a show, and show up on time with your tip jar.

Next week: Wouldn’t the world be a better place if the weekly Synthesis went national?

To Do
• Off Limits: The Show is the Rainbow (3/24); Millions of Dead Cops (3/30)

• Easter: Yellow Peeps, college basketball and trolling for new MySpace friends.

To Burn
• Yo La Tengo, Prisoners of Love: A Smattering of Scintillating Senescent Songs 1985-2003, Matador (www.matadorrecords.com)

• Eux Autres, Hell is Eux Autres (www.euxautres.net)

Two more
• Mosh girl: www.clubvibes.com/forum/topic.asp?whichpage=1&topic_id=336194

• www.costofwar.com