Jupiter Ascending

The Wachowskis’ latest WTF-fest, Jupiter Ascending, gets a goose in the old popcorn box just for having strands of one of my guilty pleasures, Flash Gordon, woven into its DNA, albeit with the camp played hetero. Jupiter Ascending has a lot of other movies in its genetic code, but the Wachowskis wrap it all up into a flaming space burrito that is distinctly cooked up from their own long-running cinematic fever dream. Granted, it ain’t a good movie, but it is good space-opera fun if you can lock your logical buzzkill in the closet for a couple of hours. It’s eye-candy to the Nth degree, with Mila Kunis as a Cinderella-story hotel maid swept off her toilet-scrubbing knees by some half-wolf space ninja (Channing Tatum) assigned to protect her from interstellar 1-percenters who are bent on killing her so that they can … um … well, it’s complicated, and not good news for the residents of planet Earth. Cinemark 14 and Feather River Cinemas. Rated PG-13