Is there a return policy?

Dane Cook is a funny guy. So it’s really too bad he decided to waste his talents on this generic comedy set in a Costco-esque warehouse, co-starring Jessica Simpson’s rack.

If you’ve seen the previews, you know the premise: Loser box boy challenges star checker for the title of employee of the month after learning that the newly hired hottie might sleep with the winner.

Cook, of course, plays the slacker box boy, Zack. His asinine nemesis, Vince (Dax Shepard), has been employee of the month for 17 months straight. If he makes it to 18, he’ll not only break the chain’s record, but he’ll win a brand-newish Chevy Malibu. Oh yeah, and the girl.

You can imagine the tense moments that ensue. Can Zack possibly wake up early enough to get to work on time? When there’s a spill on aisle 12, who will get there first to clean it up and score points with the boss? Will Jessica Simpson show up to work tomorrow wearing a halter top and no bra? My brain hurts just thinking about it.

Cook plays an ambitionless, bottom-of-the-rung employee well, and to his credit, his humorous charm shines through. His equally pathetic entourage isn’t bad either, especially the ridiculously bespectacled Andy Dick. Efren Ramirez, of Napoleon Dynamite fame, plays Vince’s sidekick and delivers a few mild laughs.

Lame plotline aside, there are a couple things in the movie that just don’t make any sense. One: Zack zips around the store on those shoes with wheels that I thought were only made for kids. But when he has to race Vince, he runs. You have wheels on your shoes, man! Use them! And two: What girl in her right mind—especially one who looks like Jessica Simpson—would go for the idiot, tight-ass checker over the sexy, laid-back box boy? Oh well. No use getting worked up about it.

Despite a few small surprises, Employee of the Month is a pretty predictable romantic comedy. Unfortunately it’s also missing most of the romance. Oh, and the comedy.