I, Frankenstein

My reaction to I, Frankenstein is simply sadness and fear. I’m sad and scared because an entire demographic of young people is growing up with absolute cultural garbage. A brief synopsis: As humans go about their usual business, there is, in fact, an invisible, centuries-old battle taking place between demons—led by the demon lord Naberius (Bill Nighy)—and the Gargoyle Order, a winged boy band of sexy, multiethnic crusaders for The Lord. Enter Adam (Aaron Eckhart), the sewn-together son of Dr. Frankenstein, who is “not human, nor demon, nor gargoyle.” Though his creator assembled him from eight corpses, he apparently took great care that the sources were equally proportioned, hairless and hunky. Even his nipples match. Will Adam be able to stop Naberius, who plans on reanimating the thousands of dead bodies he’s been stowing away in his underground lair? Careful, parents, if your teen wants the answer, it might already be too late. This stuff is more dangerous than “the pot,” and more insidious, because it’s culturally accepted. Cinemark 14 and Feather River Cinemas. Rated PG-13