Gifts of life

James Geary effortlessly hoisted his niece onto his shoulders at the Cozy Diner in Chico one recent morning. The 5-year-old smiled with delight as they headed to the car, her curly bob bouncing. Earlier, his wife, Sarah, had lobbied for a little extra whipped cream on the kiddo’s french toast.

Sarah and James have been together for about six years now, married for three. They often watch her older brother’s kids, and the couple are a dynamic team—that’s why people often are surprised they are not parents themselves.

A question that’s kept popping up—“When are you going to have kids of your own?”—isn’t something the couple can answer simply.

“It’s like, Oh yeah, we’re thinking about it every single day,” Sarah said.

This is because the Gearys have had trouble conceiving. James said it intially was difficult.

Sarah started attending an infertility support group sponsored by her employer, Enloe Medical Center, about two years ago. James joined her a few meetings later. The couple said they found solace in the discovery that they were not alone in their suffering, and inspiration witnessing other couples’ success and meeting their children.

In vitro fertilization ended up being their best option. They just had a $20,000 hurdle to clear first. Should they take out a loan?

They couldn’t really wait to weigh their options: Sarah is in her mid-30s, an age at which pregnancy generally becomes more risky, so time is precious when it comes to their chances.

Then, an unexpected opportunity came up. The support group’s founders had formed the Northern California Fertility Foundation and were awarding hopeful parents grants.

When the award ceremony came this April, the Gearys were floored when another couple received $2,000 toward their treatment. James said they knew they’d received a grant, too, just not how much. He thought: This is so great. It’s going to help so much.

Then their award amount was announced: $10,000.

“I just started bawling,” James said, grabbing a paper napkin at the diner as he became emotional.

Sarah said she kept staring down at the massive check and thinking, I’m dreaming.

They’ll start the embryo transfer process this December and are cautiously optimistic.

“We were not expecting to get the grant, because there’s so many [deserving] people we’ve met through the foundation,” Sarah said. “We’re just so grateful.”

The fertility foundation is operated entirely by volunteers who can relate directly to what the Gearys are going through—they’ve all been there themselves.

About three years ago, Sarah Blofsky and Andrea Gleason were struggling silently with infertility. As they became close friends, they realized they both were going through the IVF process with their husbands.

Gleason wanted to nurture the support system they had cultivated. They launched their support group at Enloe in January 2016, welcoming couples at all stages of fertility treatment. (See “Better together,” Healthlines, July 28, 2016.)

After Blofsky’s brother-in-law Shawn attended a group session with his wife, Monika, and son Nolan (who was born through IVF), he built upon their momentum. The three launched the foundation in December 2016, placing the support group under its umbrella and bringing on Golden Valley Bank CEO Mark Francis and business owner Darien Sterling as board members.

“I started hearing about more people that I knew that were still dealing with it,” Shawn said. “They were all having the same issues: Hey, we’re going to try again as soon as we can save money, or We’re going to have to borrow this [amount] or sell our car … That was kind of the driver for me.”

The foundation is operating under the Golden Valley Bank Community Foundation, but aiming to achieve federal nonprofit status, Shawn said. It has raised more than $40,000 so far and was designated “Nonprofit of the Year” by the California Association of Nonprofits this June.

The first grants were largely made possible through a financial partnership with Northern California Fertility Medical Center, based in the Sacramento area. Currently, the awards are given out once a year in April, during National Infertility Awareness Month.

The foundation is a passion project—all the founders had full-time jobs and were either already parents or expecting when they formed it. Gleason’s son, Jack, was born through surrogacy in January 2017, and Blofsky gave birth to her daughter, Brooklyn, in April 2017. Shawn and Monika now have two boys—Toby joined the family one year ago, and was born without IVF (a surprise to the couple).

Gleason and her husband, Michael, lost their first child when their surrogate was 13 weeks pregnant, and it brought her to the lowest point in her life. Maybe I’m just not meant to be a mom, she thought. Finding comfort in her faith, the Gleasons tried again through surrogacy, and her son was born.

“Every day I’m reminded what a gift [Jack] is,” she said. “Helping people achieve their dream of parenthood … was the way we could make something good out of something so bad.”

When Blofsky and her husband, Eric, were going through IVF, they were fortunate to have financial help from family, she said. Many fertility treatments are not covered by insurance, and costs can range from $1,000 to $100,000.

“If that’s the reason that’s stopping people from having a family, that needs to be eliminated,” she said. “It’s like saying you can’t love somebody because you don’t have enough money to do it. …Giving [these couples] a glimpse of hope that they have a chance to even go through that process is remarkable.”

Gleason added: “You can’t put a price tag on something like that.”