Days of Lore

“With all its shame, drudgery and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world.”

—ULC

Congrats, Conrad Chico indie rock legend, super-nice human being and CN&R contributor Conrad Nystrom (he probably hates the fact that I’m doing this) is getting married Saturday (June 17) to his equally super-nice girlfriend, Brooke Harris. I wish them all the best.

The tiny, family-only wedding ceremony will be performed by our own CN&R calendar editor, the Rev. Jason Cassidy. That’s right, folks, J.C. became an ordained minister with the Universal Life Church at the tender age of 19 and has performed 14 ceremonies since then. You may be saying to yourself, “Yeah, whatever.” But Jason does boast a 75 percent success rate, including a lesbian couple who are still together after six years. Stick that in your pipe and smoke it, Dubya! Anyway, it got me to thinking …

The Rev In the proud tradition of other great reverends—RUN, Billy Graham and Cassidy—I became a man of the cloth this week. In a matter of minutes, I went from plain old Mark Lore to the Rev. Mark Lore with the ULC, joining the fine company of John Lennon, Tony Danza, ZZ Top guitarist Billy Gibbons … and the 20 million other people who have become ordained across the globe.

The controversial Universal Life Church was founded by the Rev. Kirby Hensley in 1959, and in the ’60s and ’70s, everybody and their grandmother was becoming a minister in hopes they could avoid the draft or receive tax relief. Both of those beliefs, of course, aren’t true.

Me? I’m doing it for legit reasons. And, in addition to performing marriages, I can “perform funerals, baptisms, last rites or any other sort of legal ceremony or ritual, except circumcision.” Oh well, you can’t have it all. Hmm, I wonder if I can perform exorcisms …

He walketh from Chico Speaking of religious figures, local music promoter and impresario DNA is moving to the Bay Area as he looks to pursue a career in stand-up comedy. He’s been hitting the comedy circuit and has even joined a competition. See him in action at the San Francisco Comedy Club at: www.rooftopcomedy.com/watch_clips.php?clip=DNA_20060531. And while you’re there, drop him a vote, or two.

With DNA leaving town, this also means it could be the final year of his long-running Downtown Music Revolution concert series in the park, which has offered an alternative to the DCBA’s Friday Night Concerts dirt-twirling extravaganzas for the last 14 years.

But with the downtown park project still underway (the park won’t be ready until at least August) the concert series, which was slated to begin in May, won’t kick off until summer’s end. So why not hold it at Children’s Park like last year? DNA said the city rents out the nearby Bidwell Bowl on Saturdays for weddings (I’m available) and it caused scheduling conflicts.

I’m lost Another project that’s taking an eternity to get going is Lost On Main. I sent a message to the club’s MySpace page asking what the status was, but never received a reply. If the opening is anything like trying to get an interview with the new owners, it may never happen.

A sure thing One music venue that is indeed opening soon is the new and improved 1078 Gallery. The gallery will open next month with its first show featuring David Bazan of Pedro The Lion (who just released his first solo record, Fewer Moving Parts) on July 21. Check out some samples at his MySpace page: www.myspace.com/davidbazan. And go to the show, for the love of God.

The cornerstones of rock music Just wanted to let everybody know how much I love Nirvana, INXS, the Violent Femmes and The Doors. In fact, those are the four bands that really influence me in all of my musical endeavors. Just ask “The Night Owl.”

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