Blow

You know what’s missing from energy drinks? Blatant drug references! Seeing a 9-year-old drinking Red Bull is subtle child endangerment, but the new energy drink mix, Blow, likes the destruction of our youth a little more in your face. Blow is a white powder that comes in small plastic vials (surprised?) and can be mixed with 16 ounces of any beverage. Even more shocking—it’s actually pretty good. If you mix it with water it tastes like that bubble gum junk they clean your teeth with at the dentist, but the taste is invisible in any flavored beverage. Blow is sugar-free and that metallic, acidic taste is nowhere to be found. Get past the degradation of our society factor and Blow will pep up everything from carrot juice to a Miller Lite—you don’t even need to smuggle it using condom-filled volunteers. And isn’t that a win-win?