Attention bands, cranksters and Darth Vader

Word is out that Air Force pilots routinely take amphetamines to stay sharp on their missions. The practice, while illegal, has its roots spread throughout the 20th century. So now they’re going to “stop” giving pilots who are hurtling hundreds of miles an hour over populated regions, carrying implements of destruction, pharmaceutical drugs? I say, “Boo!” Do you think the heroes of such pro-war films as Top Gun would have been so perky and full of bravado if they weren’t tanked to the gills on meth? Let the kids have their fun. Next thing you know we’ll be telling cross-country truck drivers to lay off the cross-tops and yappin’ at the people at Has Beans to stop drinking coffee. Is it news to anyone that our country is totally addicted to speed? We like to go fast, and the faster the better.

All this talk of crank reminds me of a joke. “What has 42 legs, 9 fetuses and 12 dogs?” The answer: “the kids in the park.”

I feel remorse that I only saw about 100 bands in 2002, a new low for me. But I can already tell this year is going to rock. In April the American Lung Association is hosting a “Smoke-Out” Battle of the Bands. In order to be applicable you need to send me your CD, photo and bio. Also, a new all-ages music venue that focuses on local bands is gearing up. And the 11th year of Concerts in the Park is looking for bands as well. I am looking for responsible people to help with all of these events, so if you have an interest in music, the local scene or just being apart of the Chico community, drop me a line or call me at the Senator.

And at an awards ceremony honoring the great star of film James Earl Jones and his contribution to keeping the fight of Dr. Martin Luther King vital, a plaque was given that read, “Thank you James Earl Ray for keeping the dream alive.” Ray is the man charged with the death of MLK. People are claiming that it was a copy error that caused the confusion, but what keys do you hit to spell "Jones" with an "R," an "A" and a "Y"? What can you expect when the event takes place in Florida, home of dangling chads, Raelian press conferences and Mickey Mouse?