Arts Devo

Fun with numbers We’ve done the math. If you add the 563 editions of Arts DEVO to the 37 columns done under my previous nom de QWERTY, Local Bastard, you get 600. And if you multiply 600 times the four hours it takes me on average to write the thing, and then divide those 2,400 total hours by 24, that’s 100 whole days of my life that I’ve spent blathering in print about the local arts, music, cute-pet and beer scenes.

More numbers:

Over the course of the 13-plus years since that first column (March 17, 2005), the time spent writing it adds up to more than 2 percent of my existence.

The total word count for those 600 columns is about 360,000; only about half the King James Bible, but still good enough for four hack novels’ worth of pulp.

Of course, that pulp converts to maybe 6 MB of digital space, the same as a single fancy iPhone image.

For now, I’ll stay with print media, which is still alive in Chico. (On average, each of the 38,650 copies of the Chico News & Review are read weekly by 2.9 humans—which means more than 100,000 of you still read “paper” papers! Of course, that’s not even counting how many birds per cage are reading their linings. We’re still waiting for those numbers to come in.) If you multiply the average CN&R print circulation between the years 2005 and 2018 (38,664) times the word count of those 600 columns (360,000) you get nearly 14 billion words printed in service of this column. My Energy Dome is all atwitter at the thought.

I don’t have the numbers for how many times I’ve mentioned David Lynch or Sonic Youth (a dozen each?), or shared pictures of my poodle, Honey (once a year, probably—“Who’s my little sugar booger?!”), or had fun at the expense of twirling hippies (dozens at least, yet the never-ending jam spins on). I can say that the bulk of those 360,000 words have been devoted to giving props to and gossiping/commenting on the art created in Chico, and it’s no secret that this column exists thanks to the amazingly active, ever-evolving community of artists, freaks, presenters, rockers and cool kids who bring new ideas and color to this dry and dusty Nor Cal outpost. Without you, this friendly columnist’s flower-pot hat would’ve long ago crumbled and blown away and into the rolling foothills of star thistle. To illustrate, I took a small sample—the Arts DEVOs written so far in 2018—and tallied the mentions of local artists and arts makers. Over those 27 columns, 96 of you were highlighted—53 musical artists, and 43 visual/performing/literary artists.

If I could be a little statistically reckless for minute: Let’s take the per-column average of mentions (3.5) and multiply it times 600. That means some 2,133 art-makers have been actively making things happen in this town since I was given a column to report on such beautiful things. And that’s only the local punks, painters, producers, etc.; it’s not even counting all the coolness that visits Chico.

I’ve said it before: Because of y’all keeping things weird, wild and interesting in Chico, I probably have the No. 1 job in town. Thanks!