And the lucky penumbra is…?

It’s been a weird week. First, the social scientist in me noticed that everyone was acting even stranger than normal lately, and those normally strange were acting downright bizarre. Anyone who witnessed the seemingly sudden appearance of Ted Shred’s Cadillac knows what I mean. How the hell did a local skate guru’s old beater show up at midnight during a lunar eclipse? Couldn’t have been teleportation, could it?

As if that wasn’t enough, on June 14 a football-field-sized asteroid capable of obliterating Sacramento came within a cowbell (in galactic terms) of hitting the Earth. Scientists didn’t notice it till three days later. Uhm, to their credit, they were busy with other things.

Yes, genetic fans, Australian scientists said they had successfully “teleported” a laser beam encoded with data—breaking it up and reconstructing an exact replica a yard away. The scientists were quick to point out that while teleporting “small objects” is in the near future, transporting humans “will never happen,” as it is too complicated. Hmm, seems like not that long ago we heard “We’ll never fly to the moon” and my favorite, “There are no universes outside our own.” So for those of you who hate flying, get ready, because a Chico to Chicago teleportation is coming soon. I could also mention the work being done with tachyons, but I don’t want to scare you.

Though the recent genetic hybrid of a goat and spider bears mention. Seems the goat’s milk can produce a fiber that can make a lightweight cloth that is four times stronger than bulletproof armor. I always wondered what Spider-Man’s outfit was made of.

And if it couldn’t get stranger, hauntings at the Senator have increased to such a fevered pitch that we had to hire the greatest mystery solving team in the world. On Friday, June 28, and Saturday, June 29, at 11 p.m., come see a late-night presentation of The Phantom of the Senator. It’s the last show before we close for summer renovation, and this "for ‘adults'" play contains everything, including the kitchen sink! A great cast of local actors and some rowdy fun. Eat your snacks before you come, and bring your friends.