A victim of need

I was taught never to speak ill of the dead, and that seems like an especially good idea when it comes to speaking ill of Matthew Carrington, the young man who died during a fraternity hazing episode a decade ago. He is remembered now mostly because he showed the kind of bad judgment young people are often known to exhibit. His desire to belong was so strong that he was willing to accept physical humiliation in order to be accepted among the culture of none-too-evolved frat boys.

That acceptance, once conferred, would have later granted him the right to humiliate future pledges, young men like himself, so desperate to belong they would subject themselves to being taunted, insulted and made to drink gallons of water until they’d debased themselves sufficiently to be admitted to the club.

Boys, and men, are never more dangerous—to themselves or to others—than when they are in groups, driven by male insecurities, by peer pressure, by suspension of individual judgment that dominates group thinking, from lynch mobs to ISIS, from fraternities to the military.

Had he lived, Matthew Carrington would be 31. He forfeited his life to a weakness most of us have, especially when we’re young. He sacrificed his future to a system that would never have enlarged or ennobled him, even if he’d survived the diminishment it required as its ticket of admission.

When it comes to joining groups, I follow Groucho Marx, who refused to belong to any group that would have him as a member. I have belonged to two groups in my life. One was Clampers, best known for consumption of copious amounts of alcohol. The other was Alcoholics Anonymous, a group that often lends support to former Clampers. One of those groups was good for me, the other not so much. That’s how it is with groups. You’ve got to use good judgment about hooking up with any of them, especially those that require self-abasement. Clampers does. So do most of the frats.

I’ve always wondered why fraternities have any place anywhere near higher education, which is meant to foster independent thinking and personal judgment. Fraternities seem particularly anomalous where insecure and immature young people gather, seeking personal growth. Matthew Carrington’s death would acquire meaning if it helped bring about the dismantling of the whole damned and archaic business.